Monday, September 19, 2005

Baby is Boss

The Boss is sleeping in her crib as I write this, ah, a little personal time. I have never had a boss that could get away with vomiting on me, and then not even give me time to change my pants before making another demand.

Separation anxiety is in full swing. If I leave, it has to be a clean getaway. I can't let someone else hold her while I'm around, because she will want me to hold her TOO. As if somehow, two people could merge into one and both hold her at the same time. If she's playing on the floor, I can't sit on the couch. That's too far away.

It's hard to say what this is like, to be so popular, and also in need of personal space. If she didn't like me (and I know the day is coming) my heart would be broken. But, I have been spoiled by all my years of freedom. I do manage to do a few things of my own, though. It's enough to keep me happy. And now people are starting in with suggestions that I should have another baby. WHY? I can't see how I would EVER have time to be me if I did that. By having only one child, I can still do some of the stuff I "used to do".

For now, I feel like I am getting away with something. I certainly don't have the limitations of someone who has jumped into the mommy gig with abandon. I don't own a minivan, I'm not squirreling away outgrown baby equipment or clothes, and every now and then, I get to take a shower. Why mess with perfection?


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