What to Expect When You When You Didn't Expect Anything

The reason for my long absence from blogging? I am pregnant! If you're suprized, just imagine how I felt. For those of you who don't know me well, I am (was) a confirmed childless person. I had no interest whatsoever in reproducing. I was practicing birth control very carefully. But things don't always go as planned!

I found out about this on April 26th. The pregnancy test I bought has two lines, the first one being the one that tells you if you are pregnant or not. I thought that maybe the other line would come first - the "fake" line that confirms that yes, there is enough urine in the test strip. But, no. I had to get the "news" that much earlier. I really am kind of bitter about that test. I would have liked to have a warm-up line to get started.

So I have been adjusting (i.e, freaking out) for the last couple of weeks. I have been experiencing nausea but I don't know that it's all morning sickness. Most of it is morning sickness. The rest of it is "OH MY GOD!" At least my husband wanted children before this, so he's not freaking out.

I have to eat every two hours or I feel sick. Even at night, since humans sleep in cycles of about an hour and half, I wake up at the end of each sleep cycle to pee, and that's enough wakefulness that my stomach says, "time to eat"! I guess I've already started with the nighttime feedings. Thankfully, babies have sleep cycles of an hour and a half too. (Update: no they don't. Try 45 minutes to an hour! When does the hurting stop?!) It's the one saving grace in all of this as I contemplate how I'm going to get through the next couple of years.

I'm due around Dec 24th, which means that I'm just finishing up Week 7. The way weeks are counted is starting with the first day of your last period, so I've only been pregnant for about 5 weeks. At the end of the 12th week, it becomes a fetus. Before that, it is an embryo. Moving up in the world, aren't we? "I'm a fetus! Respect me now!"

I'm giving praise to low-rise pants, the only clothing I can still fasten around myself.

So that's what's going on here.