Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Too Much Information

So I've been reading up on my impending doom: The Mother of all Pregnancy Books, The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, etc. Why do I think I should read this stuff? There is way too much information in these books. When I receive bad news, I always prefer to have it sprung on me at the last minute. So I don't think I'm going to read about it anymore.

But first, I must mock A Child Is Born, because it is my nature to do such things. First off, this is NOT a coffee table book. To say the least. The book's cover makes it seem as if it is full of pictures taken in utero. There are a several of these pictures, but I guess they didn't have that many when this book was written, so they filled the rest of the book with the Story of How Babies Are Made, with chapters titled The Woman and the The Man. It reminds me of Health class in school.

Next is the Ovulation chapter. This is where it gets interesting. There is a picture of a Doomed Couple walking on the beach, having a talk during which they decide to have a baby. There is also a picture of an ovary.

"Fertilization". Here's a funny quote: "Unaware of events in the depths of her body, the young woman and her partner rejoice in their love." Then there are the pictures of cells dividing, etc, etc, followed by some nasty birth pictures.

As someone with whom I identify a great deal once said, "God positioned certain things to point away from your head for a reason. No, I don't want a mirror." And so I choose to ignore the impending reality as if it were all pointed away from my head. I do, after all, prefer to receive all bad news at the last possible minute.