Friday, December 03, 2004

It's Good Enough

As I wait, and rather impatiently, I might add, to give birth, I am trying to get everything done in advance. It's as if I'm getting ready to be away for a very long time, because I won't be able to do much more than take care of the baby for awhile. Even now, I'm pretty limited in my energy. And whatever mental powers I used to have are all but gone. Whoever said that ADHD symptoms improve during pregnancy was lying. Maybe this vicious rumor comes from the makers of Adderall or Ritalin, so that we will reproduce and they will increase their sales? ;-)

I quit working at the end of October, so we are living on my husband's income, which means we are broke until I am able to work again. My initial reaction to being broke has always been to stay at home - not wanting to spend money, my tendency is not to leave the house at all.

When I feel this way, it's my cue to get moving, because it distracts me from the negativity of the situation. Being active can also help me find solutions to problems - and if I don't come up with anything, at least I wasn't hanging around the house all day. It seems to lower my stress level. Even if the only thing I can do is make a phone call or run an errand, I want to keep moving. Which is hard to do when I've nearly doubled my dress size!

The only way I can get much done at this point is by teaming up with someone. It feels kind of pathetic, but at least I know that if I make arrangements to meet someone, I'll go somewhere. If I bring my husband with me, I'll actually leave the house to go shopping. If I talk to someone on the phone, I'll clean something at home. I don't think I've ever functioned at such a low level before, and I'm grateful that at least, I know that I must team up with someone so that I can keep up with certain things.