Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I now know why so many moms are boring. They have no time for outside interests. Someone once said to me, "Hi, I'm Ben's mom." I asked her, "what's your name?" Hmm. I'm afraid that might happen to me.

I realized a change in my perspective when I found myself saying that being a mom isn't the hard part - the hard part is having to do all that other "stuff". Does that make me a good mom - or just a boring person?

Or...maybe it's just another survival mechanism kicking in because the reality is that I am not able to do a lot of that other "stuff" anyway, so I can enjoy the baby that I have to take care of anyway (which may make me a tad boring when it comes to conversation) or I can try to have outside interests, and feel the frustration of not being able to have the level of involvement in those outside interests that I'd like. Now there's a logical explanation of why moms can become boring: resistance is futile.

A side note on all of this: (thinking about how important being "intentional" is, as an ADDer) I often find myself about to do a household task and I stop and ask myself, is this how I want to spend my time? Quite often the answer is no. Truth is, I still need "me time".

So to the outside observer, my house is a little chaotic, even messy. But it doesn't bother me that much because that is not the priority for me right now. It's something that would have driven me crazy a few years ago. I would have found a way to keep things clean, and get all the other stuff done as well. And it would have just about killed me. Now I try to do my housework by level of urgency. The top level is:
  • washing and drying the clothes
  • loading, running and unloading the dishwasher
  • pulling bills out of the mail and putting them in the "bills" folder
  • paying the bills
  • taking out the trash

Those are the things that keep the household running in some fashion. Disaster will be averted if those things are done. All the other stuff can wait until I feel like it. Or until my husband gets inspired....